Fairytales do come true.

Albert said this in my Part I post:

Ironically, Choon How and I talked about this AFTER we bumped into Jarod and you. It’s true, but on a DIFFERENT plane than we’d usually use to separate them. It’s not bad versus good; it’s confident versus clingy. It’s having an opinion versus being a Yes man.

Of course every girl loves a guy who is confident, matured etc. But I doubt that ONLY Bad Boys will have these traits. Many of my guy friends are Good Boys and still they possess the above qualities.

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Mass generalisations to follow. Go away now if you offend easily.

The Bad Boys I am talking about in this post are not the singlet-wearing, tattoo-fied, foul mouthed boys. Those are…er…in a completely different category altogether. Bad Boys who attract me (and my friends) have most of these characteristics in common - charming, charismatic, smokes, usually skive off classes, mostly rich, drives, good looking playboy type, probably have tried some weed, goes clubbing etc etc. These are who I’m concerned about. The type of guys that give out a “I’m too cool to care” vibe.

These guys seem to ooze magnetism and most people will agree that they SEEM to be able to get any girl they want. Of course, one of the reasons why Bad Boys are lusted after by girls is because of the “status” factor. To be considered cool and pretty and sexy (because those are probably qualities that Bad Boys look for) enough to be the companion of the Bad Boy, to be the envy and speculation of girls around you. To have a Bad Boy as a boyfriend is almost like being recognised as a VIP - you are considered a cut above everyone else, because we know that Bad Boys are able to get his pick of any girls.

I agree, FEW girls can resist the charms of a Bad Boy. After all, he IS a sweet-mouth smooth operator. Naive or idealistic girls will have it worse, because they probably cannot see through his charm and flattery. We all like to delude ourselves into thinking that “yes well, he is a bad boy, he has a string of conquests behind him, he can get any girl he wants and HE CHOSE ME. He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m the love of his life, the one who will change him for the better“. After all, isn’t that what most girls dream about? To be worth so much to a guy that he is willing to be a better man for her.

But beware. After all, there is this quote that goes - “A leopard can never change its spots”.

I have to admit, I used to have some MILD crushes on Bad Boys, but I have never ever acted upon that. Bad Boys and Good Girls just don’t mix. Both type wants different things in life. The Bad Boy wants to have fun in college, going out to parties and sauntering in late for class. The Good Girl, on the other hand, wants to do well in her studies and is basically a homebody. How do you combine two COMPLETE opposites? There is no way a Good Girl + Bad Boy combination can work in college, at least. Already I can see the problems if it were to happen - the girl will probably nag at the guy to study harder, party less whereas the guy will probably want to take the girl out more etc. IF it were to happen in the first place. Because of that basic difference in character, there is likely to be little or no common ground between the Bad Boys and Good Girls. It’s all well and fine if you were to entertain the thought that BadBoyA is NOT only a rogue, but a poetry-loving sentimental rogue at that, but really, NO ONE IS THAT PERFECT.

Let’s not EVEN get to the sex part la ok. To have his pick of girls who are willing and ready to do anything to keep him, you think the fella won’t exploit this meh? Not to mention, knowing typical hormone-fuelled males…even Good Boys will have a hard time resisting.

So yes, Good Girls do sometimes fantasise about Bad Boys, but that’s the extent of it. Mere fantasies. If Good Girls know what’s good for them, they will avoid Bad Boys like the plague. Bad Boys are just a package of unbridled (yes, because they don’t care), expensive (because they are probably rich and used to spending without batting an eyelid) pack of trouble.

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On the other side of the coin, there is also a lesser known cliched quote - “Reformed rakes make the best husbands”. (I got this er..quote from reading too much Mills&Boons. Heh.)

The reason why reformed rakes make the best husbands is probably because these people have so much experience in the love scene that they probably know what to do, what not to do etc. But I disagree about the “best husbands” bit though. Being a husband is so much more than being a “boyfriend”. He will have to share responsibility, take care of the household (and kids) etc. His expertise only lies in wining and dining and courting, so how does that apply to being a husband?

Hmm.

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Secretly, I think every girl wishes to have a Good Bad Boy as their other half.

(Wah, girls quite the demanding hor? I just realised it now leh..)

Who is this mysterious Good Bad Boy? Simply put, he is the one who has all the charm and charisma of a Bad Boy, yet the sensitivity and soul of a Good Boy. The romantic rebel. The lovelorn rock star. The angst-filled poet.

Too often, we girls develop crushes on guys based on OUR expectations of who WE THINK he is in real life. Most of the time, no one is that intuitive to correctly tell the other peron’s character based on a light-hearted banter or two. I firmly believe that to have a lasting relationship, both parties must get to know and like each other as friends first, and then proceed.

Jarod, in my world, would be classified as a Bad Boy if we knew each other in real life first. He smokes, goes out till wee hours (used to in his younger days), had many girlfriends (grrr), skipped classes to play snooker (!!). If we were classmates, I will look at all the above and immediately stay away from him. We could be acquaintances, but nothing more. In my heart of hearts, I know that there can never be a common ground between me and him. In fact, I told him about this before - “If I knew you in real life, we would probably never be where we are today.”

But luckily for me, it didn’t happen this way. I got to know him through Xfresh, where his witty and sarcastic comments left me laughing and wondering more about this charismatic Xfresher. The easiest way to know if there is a “click” or connection between two parties is of course, to talk. Thanks to the internet, this is made easier by MSN and whatnots. So we chatted. At first, I have to admit, I was awed by his online persona. He is knowledgable and quick-witted. Being 4 years older and having led a totally different life than mine, I was fascinated by him. He is completely different from everyone else I know, simply because he went through life differently.

On MSN, only the person’s true character can come through. You have no way of knowing if the person is good looking etc, and this is a good point, in my opinion. No need to let the physical side of matters cloud the friendship. The only way to judge a person online is through the things he says. And Jarod is nothing if not good with words. *Wry smile*

Long story short, he is the type of Good Bad Boys that I like. Because I chatted with him, I knew who he is as a person first and foremost. I never felt the need to get to know Bad Boys beyond the superficial, because I know myself lah. Sure cannot find things to talk about wan. The advantage of getting to know someone online is that the person’s background and history is a blank. You form an opinion of the other party through the conversations, not through observing the superficial daily minutiae. True, he revealed some really wild things about his past, but at the same time, he also showed his softer side. The combination of taming the wild horse and reaping his sensitive love is … a challenge to resist, to say the least.

Although I have a crush on him, from the Xfresh days, and as I got to know him more through MSN, I have never expected a relationship to bloom. Of course I fantasise about him being passionately in love with me (don’t you all do that with your crushes?) , but common sense kicked in. Bad Boys and Good Girls don’t mix, remember? After all, he can have any girl he wants, why should it be me? Better just enjoy the friendship and stop reading too much into his flirtatious banter.

(Hmm..love comes to you when you least expect it. So trueeeee)

Because of that, his proclamation of love (if you can call it that) came as a complete surprise.

But I still believe, that if we knew each other in real life, we would never have ended up together. Strange how life works out eh?

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I don’t know if all Bad Boys are just fun-seeking boys, but if they are around the same age as the girl, then they PROBABLY are. Every relationship is a risk, so if you want to get tangled up with a Bad Boy, just be careful and don’t get in too deep. I am exremely thankful that events unfolded the way it did for Jarod and me, because Jarod is so much more than what he appears to be. By cutting off all Bad Boys from my list of potential er…love interest, I know that I could be missing someone who ight be THE ONE, but heh, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING A MATURED GOOD BAD BOY who is the same age as me lah? ZERO. So I never bothered.

Conclusion is:

Bad Boy = Dangerous. Approach with caution. It’s better if you’re streetwise enough to keep up with him.

Good Boy = Will probably be a sweet and safe boyfriend.

Good Bad Boy = Ideal. Rare (hmm, maybe it’s because I never bothered getting to know the Bad Boys in my college…but…*considers the college guys I know*…NOT POSSIBLE! Heh.Maybe when they’re olderlah.).

Wah damn bloody tired now. I’m supposed to be doing my essay man. Shit. No more blogging till I finish la..which could take weeks. Heh.

Happy Valentine’s Day! (well, it WAS Valentine’s Day when I started writing the post!)