Fairytales do come true.

Catherine and I went back to HELP today to…er…”meet old friends”, namely McKendrick, Smith, Hogan, Zander et al.

It was sooo good being in HELP again. I missed the friendly environment there, where everyone is ever willing to help, not like the snotty workers at Kemayan ATC. To see happy smiling faces and to see the familiar building with well-planned floors….ahhh. Feels almost as good as home.

Really. I don’t mind going to HELP to attend classes, whereas everytime I see the Kemayan building, my jovial mood plummets. Kemayan never fails to piss me off man. The two times I’ve been there BEFORE registering as a student got me mad and I lost my temper. The fucking environment, and of course, counsellors who knew NUTS about what they were supposed to be counselling greatly helped mattersla.

And the people in KATC isn’t exactly those going out of the way to make friends with you type. I don’t know. I might be lumping it all with the students’ background. In HELP, everyone comes from about the same type of background - middle/upper class, English speaking, close knit family etc. So basically, the common ground is already established and it’s easier to get along like that. KATC, however, is just one brewing pit of mini-society. A microcosm of the world at large. You might argue that it’s better to meet people from all levels of society, but hey, I like it hen birds of a feather flock together, okay? Can even find working adults in my class. I just..don’t feel as comfortable here as in HELP.

Ahhh, meeting my old classmates again was great. Haven’t laughed so loud or so frequently since I started at KATC. And ooooh. HELP has plenty of lounging area, whereas KATC….zilch.Nada. After class, they just expects everyone to go off. Sucks man. Such a fucking uncomfortable college. Bleh.

Besides good friends, stepping into the HELP library made me so happy! Lookie at the bright lights! (KATC’s library seems very dark to me. Bleh. I love good libraries!) Lookie at the shelves after shelves after shelves of Law books! Lookie at the nice conducive environment! I was so overjoyed and pleased at seeing the nice place again I almost went and humped the bookshelves. Not really.

Urgh. Two years ago, in 2003, when I first stepped into HELP to enquire about their A Levels, I felt an instant connection with the place. I was very enticed to study there and I signed up on gut instinct. Now, in 2005, my feelings towards HELP still hasn’t changed.

—

Today I took the bus home and met a retired (I think) race-horse jockey on the bus. How interesting is that? He told me to study hard, get my Masters and get the fuck out of this country. Oh, he’s not a Malaysian, btw, but he seems to have a very good grasp on the Malaysian political scene despite only being here a year. I must say, the things he pointed out are very valid. How interesting. He offered to give me horse-riding lessons

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I have a lot of things to blog about la. shit. I have do complete the tag from expectation, and then talk about friends leaving and then talk about A SERIOUS ISSUE. The previous list of stuff? Forget it. Ish. Tomoro la. I wanna watch anime and relax! Ciao.

Oh, my sister’s art exam is tomorrow! Good luck to her and hopes she kicks ass! Muahmuah!

Ooh, the movie buff strikes again! I watched Flightplan and Land of the Dead today.

It’s a bizarre combination, I tell you. Flightplan is okay…I expected more though. I think Red Eye did much better in the adrenaline pumping thriller moments, but i like Jodie Foster She’s so beautiful and Panic Room was amazing. Nonetheless, Flightplan’s storyline was..how to put this…it’s believable, but highly unlikely, you know? But after watching Land of the Dead, I have changed my mind that Flightplan is very realistic and believable after all. Hahaha, you’d understand if you watched Land of the Dead. It’s a movie beyond the horror genre, something quite different.

The movie ended around 10.45 pm and the mall was already closed. So there was just a few cinema-goers wandering around the mall looking for the entrance to the carpark. Wah. Damn creepy, ESPECIALLY after watching LOTD. To get out of The Mines (shopping mall)carpark, we have to drive through the carpark for the M.I.N.E.S. Exhibition Hall. I don’t know what the fuck happened today, but the M.I.N.E.S carpark was in total darkness!!! *freak* Wah lau. Majorly scary, esp if you dare to imagine zombies coming out of every corner…lol. There was like 3 car parked right at the end of the carpark. Hahaha. They’ll be kicking their asses when they see the total darkness that enveloped the carpark, and if they had just watched LOTD….well, if I were them…I’d rather take the cab home man. No lights AT ALL. Any newbie director wants to film a horror show, but no money to rent a studio? No problem, come to the M.I.N.E.S carpark. The only source of light was from the Jarod’s car’s headlights. Bleh.

—–

I killed today. I’m sorry.

I went to Kinokuniya KLCC to buy a Contract Law textbook in the morning and took a bus home in the afternoon. I got on the bus at 2.10pm at Kota Raya. The bus driver waited till all the seats on the bus was filled with passengers then only leave, which was aroung 3.05pm. It takes 1 hour from Kota Raya to my taman so I reached at 4.05pm. Well, gotta say this - even though I had to wait like shit for the bus to be filled up, at least the length of time for trip home is always consistently 1 hour. Jarod was already waiting in front of my house by the time I turned into my jalan. Heehee. Seeing his car parked in front of my house made me happy, so I plucked a beautiful pinkish flower from a neighbour’s front yard. It is really pretty. I think it’s some sort of a hibiscus breed, because it’s smaller than a conventional hibiscus, but has the same crinkly petal texture.

I presented the flower to him and proposed. Hahahah

He stuck the flower onto one of the slots in his car er….radio area? I don’t know what that’s called…dashboard? Anyways, then we went to watch the movies. After 6 hours of guzzling and freaking ourselves out, we prepared to head home.

I got into the car and fuck, the flower was drooping. I believe the word is ‘layu’. It was so vibrant and the flower was open. The sight that greeted me made me feel sick to my stomach. It was lifeless, limp. The petals all drooped down, instead of happily opening up to the world. It was shrunken.

I feel so guilty. I have taken a thing of beauty, without any thought, and sent it to its demise. To see the actual deterioration of the dying flower was a reality check. This is a tangible process whereby I can witness the life slowly seeping out of the flower, leaving it to die. Shit. I can’t believe I just plucked it without any thoughts. Hahaha. I cried over it. We have so often plucked flowers or trampled on grass etc and we don’t feel anything. I think that’s because we don’t see the consequence of our carelessness.

The flower was just happily living, soaking up the sunshine and beautifying the environment. It didn’t do anything wrong, but with just a thoughtless act, it’s life was gone, in snap of a branch. Jarod tried to make me feel better by telling me that it would die sooner or later. True, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I hastened it’s demise, which is an unnatural act, going against nature.

When we reached home, I placed the dying flower at the base of one of my dad’s bougainvillea tree.

And I told Jarod never to buy flowers for me.

You all don’t wanna read about me. Okay. I’ll rewrite it when I feel like it.

Found this in a friendster bulletin -

God may have created man first, but there’s always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Ahhhhh. I just love the silence of stumped males.

The bulletin also includes a few really funny jokes which shows the women getting better of the men. I think it should be circulating on the bulletin boards now. What a laugh! And I’m always up for gender bashing No offense meant to guys, of course. I still love you all but hey, gender bashing IS fun. Nothing personal, yeah? *grin*

—–
I’ve been going on a movie spree since Tuesday night. The pros of studying in Kemayan is - CLASSES ON MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS AND SATURDAYS. So from Tuesdays to Saturdays, basically I laze around at home doing nothing! Well, I’m supposed to be studying, but hey, it’s still the start of the semester! Don’t rush…(even though the mocks are in less than 3 months time)…

Anyways, that’s depressing news la.

I watched Bring It On Again, Intolerable Cruelty and The Longest Yard. Ahhh I just love feel good movies.

Bring It On Again was a typicl cheerleader film la, breezy with full of adrenalin pumping routines. I really love the chereography. Damn exciting. Remember how I said I’m moody and listless and blablabla a few entries before? Well, Bring It On Again infused me with enthusiasm again. I was so hyped up that I really wanted to write an entry about how feel-good movies can save lives But then, I received some bad news which totally affected my newfound optimism. i really had no mood to finish watching the movie after that.

Intolerable Cruelty was not as good as BIOA. I don’t know if it was because I was watching it at 3 am, or because it was crap, but I can’t concentrate on the damn movie at all. What transpired was 3 mins of movie, pause, surf, movie, pause, surf…repeat. Needless to say, it was a looooong movie indeed. Catherine Zeta Jones was gorgeous, as usual and George Clooney is getting a bit old to play the charming Lothario.

The Longest Yard! Woohoo! The fact that they can make a single football match last 45 mins (arouond there la) and successfully keep my attention attests to its quality, eh? Adam Sandler is in his typical good guy chummy with everyone role and with his face, it’s kinda hard NOT to believe in his character. This movie also made me laugh out loud at several instances, which is another plus point in my books .

Disgusting scene in the movie - When one of the ‘cons’ were knocked down during football practice, this other convict went up to him and said, ‘nothing a quarter-pounder can’t fix‘ while reaching into his tight football shorts. My first thought was - gay alert!, but then he just retrieved a VERY squashed and flat looking McD’s quarter pounder burger. Ewwwww.

One of the funnier scences in the show that totally cracked me up was when three inmates started giggling like teeheehee when they changed the replaced one of the guard’s steroids with estrogen pills! Hahahah! That move of theirs ensured plenty of comic scenes later on

See, some movies aren’t called feel-good movies for nothing. I feel goooood…yeah yeah yeah! The underdog happy ending movies may be cliched, but it works! When you’re feeling down, do watch a feel-good movie, and NOT A ROMANTIC FILM, unless you want to feel more depressed. Not that Intolerable Cruelty depressed me, of course. I was too busy being bored.

Gonna watch Flightplan tomorrow! Weeee!I love watching movies! Oooh. Another movie I want to watch is The Notebook. Ah I love love love Nicholas Sparks, the same author whose books - A Walk To Remember and Message In A Bottle - have been turned into fantastically sappy movies. Message In A Bottle is a FANTASTIC romance book. Beats Judith McNaught et al hands down. Yes, and I’ve heard great things about The Notebook (movie version).

Ahh. Love movies. I would never have called myself a movie lover, but now I’m changing my mind. Weee. Might watch Be Cool later

So, how was your day?

As you can see, there’s an about me page on the sidebar.

To be honest, I really have no idea what to put in there.

So, just ask me anything you want to know about me and I’ll try to answer it there. Please, no dumb questions, okay?

Today, somewhere, in some obscure place , someone told me I write pretty well.

I feel so good, because it’s been ages since someone praised me for my writing. Reading that phrase brings back a deluge of memories of days in Form4 and Form5, when I would enthusiastically pen down stories for English class just because I loved writing. I enjoyed the challenge of putting abstract emotions, thoughts and ideas into concrete words. Heck, there was one story I wrote which was about 10 (exercise book) pages long.

In fact, the only homework I truly enjoy doing was English Composition. Usually, when I reach home, I would nap or read newspapers or dawdle until it was absolutely time to start homework. With composition however, I needed no such ‘motivation’. I reached home, sat down and continued writing my composition because once you’ve lost the inspiration, then the whole piece will read like a stcuk train, with jerks and stops.

If there’s one thing I pride myself in, it’s my English and my writing skills. When inspiration strikes, truly, I feel like I could fly, pardon the cliche. I’m sure you all will know what I mean.

You are so caught up in the moment you write non-stop in a frenzied passion. That’s the best way I can put it.

Like a lot of things in my life, somehow along the way, I have lost that essential spark - the love for writing.

Throughout my A Levels, I did not write a single piece of essay for leisure’s sake. It was either answers for Eng Lit past year questions or answers for Law past year questions. Although I still somewhat relish the activity of writing, the extremely frequent usage of technical jargon in Lit and Law left me feeling dry. What happened to all my flowery sentences? What happened to my extensive vocabulary? I can’t put them to use in my answers because it would be too verbose. And as we all know, examiners are only looking for the point. That’s how they allocate marks.

Ah, I just remembered that my English Literature lecturer keeps telling me that I have a flair for writing, and I shouldn’t waste it.

*smiles*

Well, I sure as hell didn’t. To be among the three students who got A for English Literature in the past 5 years (or more), heck, I deserve some bragging rights . Hehe. Since I’m on a mission for some self-lovin now, I scored the highest for Literature for my intake. Ah. To think when I first heard about the track record in Literature, I have given up on getting an A. I thought to myself, “I’m not perceptive or critical enough to score an A. Forget it la. So many years still no one scored. What makes you think you’re so special?”

Ms Caroline is a wonderful Literature lecturer as well. I can’t claim all the credit for myself, right? She instilled a passion for Literature in me, and she even suggested that I take up Literature for my undergraduate studies. I would love to, if money wasn’t an issue. But the fact is, how much can one earn with a degree in Literature? It would be a perfect degree course, in my opinion. To read books, write about them *intelligently*, to discuss and debate subtle symbolism in the books etc. What can be further from ’studying’, right?

But reality beckons. We need money.

Anyways, I really needed that pick-me-up. Lately, I noticed that my posts are becoming too routine, with no real substance in them. I blog for the sake of blogging, not that I had anything constructive to talk about. This is bad because when I simply blogged something, then I’d feel more depressed for producing such crap, then I’d be even more de-motivated to write.

So, in order not to compromise my *ahem* writing integrity, I shall only blog when I feel like I have something to share, when I feel like writing a stunning masterpiece, when I am inspired. Simply put, I want to reclaim blogging as a hobby again, and not the ‘must-do’ chore that it has become to me.

See you when I see you.